Tuesday, July 24, 2018

The Apotheosis of Assholes

Culturally, where did we go wrong?

For much of our national history, we venerated men and women who represented civic virtues of honesty, fair play, modesty, and thrift. When we got past the Gilded Age (or maybe the Depression) we tended to shy away from too blatant displays of wealth and power. We paid lip service to the notion that all of us are created equal. 

Nowadays, that has changed. Some markers of that social degradation include the usual suspect politicians. Yes, I'm looking at you, DJT. But also Bill Clinton, various radio personalities, and so forth. As a matter of fact, the leadership of both political parties.

This tendency has crept into general discourse as well. Sports has become another area of contention. Some of that may be traced to sports talk radio. Fancy a three-hour radio program where idlers can call in with unlimited opportunities to blow off steam and to bloviate! And there's other forms of Talk Radio. Since when should people be provided a forum to blow off without consequence or even rebuttal? 

Even restauranteurs get into the act. Recently, Sarah Huckabee Sanders was denied service at a Virginia establishment because the owner (ostensibly) didn't like her politics or employer or because running her off provided the owner with a golden opportunity to seek attention. (Take your pick,)

Thursday, July 19, 2018

Politically, Things Suck

Let's face it: We've come to a pretty pass when it comes to politics and National leadership.

Right now, we have Donald Trump, strutting and fretting his hour upon the stage. And can't wait for him to be heard no more. He doesn't have even a nodding acquaintance when it comes to truth. He has limited communication skills; and doesn't give a consistent message.

He should stop twittering. It just allows him to impulsively say what goes into his head at the moment. And when the says it or writes it, it's part of the record. No replays. I guess that not saying part of what you think is part of the job.

Barack Obama and George W. Bush had their limitations. But at least they kept control of their thoughts and not say whatever out loud all the time.

But who would replace him?  First, look at the Republican Party bench. There's Mike Pence. Oh please! He's a rigid dumbass! And there's Ted Cruz. Oh no! Marco Rubio or Jeff Flake? Maybe. But the shining light of the Republican Party is dying after serving his country well.

As for the Democrats? They're part of the problem. Let's face it: in 2016 they nominated the one person (other than Nancy Pelosi!) who was the most strongly aversive to too many people. At least they have Joe Biden, such as he is. Lord help us from Elizabeth Warren! Or Bill de Blasio.

But Donald Trump is in James Buchanan or Warren Harding grade category. What did we do to deserve this tool?

Saturday, July 14, 2018

Dicking Around into a Really Classy Academic Paper

Some professors with vivid imaginations and a real need to obtain a tenured position will go to great lengths to produce an academic paper.

The latest coup comes from Oxford Professor George Garnett, who counted the presence of 93 penises on the Bayeux Tapestry.  William the Conquerer's horse's member was the largest. What a magnificent steed he was!

93 penises? Sounds like the Alabama Legislature. Where there are a goodly number of horse dicks and horses' asses to go with them.

Thursday, July 5, 2018

Kentucky Computer Terms

BACKUP - What you do when you run across a skunk in the woods
BAR CODE - Them's the fight'n rules down at the local tavern
BUG - The reason you give for calling in sick
BYTE - What your pit bull dun to cousin Jethro
CACHE - Needed when you run out of food stamps
CHIP - Pasture muffins that you try not to step in
TERMINAL - Time to call the undertaker
CRASH - When you go to Junior's party uninvited
DIGITAL - The art of counting on your fingers
DISKETTE - Female Disco dancer
FAX - What you lie about to the IRS
HACKER - Uncle Leroy after 32 years of smoking
HARDCOPY - Picture looked at when selecting tattoos
INTERNET - Where cafeteria workers put their hair
KEYBOARD - Where you hang the keys to the John Deere
MAC - Big Bubba's favorite fast food
MEGAHERTZ - How your head feels after 17 beers
MODEM - What ya did when the grass and weeds got too tall
MOUSE PAD - Hippie talk for where Mickey and Minnie live
NETWORK - Scoop'n up a big fish before it breaks the line
ONLINE - Where to stay when taking the sobriety test
ROM - Where the pope lives
SCREEN - Helps keep the skeeters off the porch
SERIAL PORT - A red wine you drink with breakfast
SUPERCONDUCTOR - Amtrak's Employee of the year
SCSI (pronounced "scuzzy") - What you call your week-old underwear