Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Sunday, January 27, 2013

Most and Least Bible-Minded Cities

According to the American Bible Society, Huntsville comes in at #9.

At least we have Hooters and Pleasures.

Most Bible-Minded Cities
1. Knoxville, Tenn.
2. Shreveport, La.
3. Chattanooga, Tenn.
4. Birmingham, Ala.
5. Jackson, Miss.
6. Springfield, Mo.
7. Charlotte, N.C.
8. Roanoke/Lynchburg, Va.
9. Huntsville, Ala.
10. Charleston, W.Va.

Least Bible-Minded Cities
1. Providence, R.I./ New Bedford, Mass.
2. Albany, N.Y.
3. Burlington, Vt.
4. Portland, Maine
5. Hartford/New Haven, Conn.
6. Boston, Mass.
7. San Francisco
8. Phoenix, Ariz.
9. Cedar Rapids, Iowa
10. Buffalo, N.Y.

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Congressional Wisdom

Once upon a time the government had a vast scrap yard in the middle of a desert. Congress said someone may steal from it at night, so they created a night watchman position (GS-4) and hired a person for the job.

Then Congress said, "How does the watchman do his job without instruction?" So they created a planning position and hired two people: one person to write the instructions (GS-12) and one person to do time studies (GS-11).

Then Congress said, "How will we know the night watchman is doing the tasks correctly?" So they created a Q.C. position and hired two people, one GS-9 to do the studies and one GS-11 to write the reports.

Then Congress said, "How are these people going to get paid?" So they created the following positions, a timekeeper (GS-09) and a payroll officer (GS-11) and hired two people.

Then Congress said, "Who will be accountable for all of these people?"

So they created an administrative position and hired three people: an Admin. Officer (GM-13), an Assistant Admin. Officer (GS-13) and a Legal Secretary (GS-08).

Then Congress said, "We have had this command in operation for one year and we are $18,000 over budget, we must cutback overall cost," so they laid off the night watchman.

Sunday, January 20, 2013

A Cartoonist's View of the European Union

Apparently the E.U. works better for some of its members thsn others, if this cartoon is to be taken seriously.

Germany, best of all, with the U.K. and France on the next level.

Spain, Portugal, Greece, and Ireland are at the bottom, reflecting their economic worries.

A curiosity: Germany managed to be on the uppermost level and the third level.  Or is the lower-level Germany the old DDR?

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Roy Moore and Daisy Fuentes

That ├╝berclown Roy Moore is Chief Justice of the Alabama Supreme Court.  You know, the Ten Commandments Judge!

What a shame.

View Daisy Fuentes for some consolation.  She did not vote for him.

And, yours truly Elvis, did not either.

Monday, January 14, 2013

2 + 2

There once was a business owner who was interviewing people for a division manager position. He decided to select the individual that could answer the question "how much is 2+2?"

The engineer pulled out his slide rule and shuffled it back and forth, and finally announced, "It lies between 3.98 and 4.02".

The mathematician said, "In two hours I can demonstrate it equals 4 with the following short proof."

The physicist declared, "It's in the magnitude of 1x101."

The logician paused for a long while and then said, "This problem is solvable."

The social worker said, "I don't know the answer, but I am glad that we discussed this important question."

The attorney stated, "In the case of Svenson vs. the State, 2+2 was declared to be 4."

The trader asked, "Are you buying or selling?"

The accountant looked at the business owner, then got out of his chair, went to see if anyone was listening at the door and pulled the drapes. Then he returned to the business owner, leaned across the desk and said in a low voice, "What would you like it to be?"

The accountant got the job.


Tuesday, January 8, 2013

The BCS Game and Miss Alabama

Last night's BCS Game went about as I expected: Alabama crushed Notre Dame.  As a matter of fact, the ESPN commentators used terms as "old fashioned butt whipping" and described Notre Dame as "roadkill."   They were not exaggerating.  Alabama proved that they were National Champions!

For those unaware, Alabama decisively won, 42-14.  It was never close.  Alabama clobbered Notre Dame on line play.

Toward the end of the game, Brent Musberger, 73, focused on Alabama quarterback A. J. McCarron's girlfriend Katherine Webb, Miss Alabama and an Auburn graduate.  She's a Miss Alabama we can all be proud of.

War Eagle!

Thursday, January 3, 2013

Falkland Islands Joke

Apropos of Argentine President Cristina Kirchner's demand that Britain return the Falkland Islands to Argentina:

A man goes into a pub and points at a beer tap.

"Do you want a pint?" asks the barman.

The man nods and the barman notices that he has a huge scar across his throat. "Where did you get that?" asks the barman.

The man manages to croak, "Falklands".

"Blimey," says the barman. "Well, have this one on the house, mate. You boys did a great job over there."

The man croaks, "Muchas gracias, senor."

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Not a Particularly Effective Strategy

The unequivocal promise "no new taxes" is a bad notion.  It has the fiscal effect of painting oneself in a corner, artificially disabling a politician from flexibility in funding new crises.

In general, I'm not in favor of most taxes, but we need to keep our governmental flexibility open.  It's true: the federal government and to a lesser degree the state spends money unwisely.  No, profligately!  But that spending is comfortably earmarked, and new crises are sure to come.

Therefore, wisdom would dictate that at least temporary tax increases would be necessary.

The state legislature should not "borrow" or loot from the Special Education Trust Fund or other funds for specified reasons.  Instead, our representatives should seek out a reasonably fair degree of taxes that would also produce a relatively consistent revenue stream.

On the national level, I'm so glad the fiscal cliff was avoided.  Both parties in Congress deserve credit for making it harder than it needed to be.

Damned politicians!