Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Brother, Can You Spare the State a Dime?

Well, 2015 is almost here, and the state has a $265 million in the General Fund.  Medicaid, prisons, and other necessities can be affected by this.  It's really put up or shut up time for our lawmakers. There's two possibilities that could be put in play:

1)  Raise taxes  But a vote to increase taxes is like a kiss of death for both Republicans and Democrats. This isn't going to happen.

2)  Institute a state lottery. But the more conservative elements will have a conniption fit.  Also, it's in effect a tax on stupidity. Still, I know of a few who regularly travel over the state line to purchase Tennessee lottery tickets.

Maybe we need some creative other solutions:

1) Hold a super-duper bake sale. But, let's face it, Alabama baking is nothing to write home about.

2) Trim back on expenses. Cut back on fat cat state employees.

3) Tax sex. Think of the braggart factor.

4) Try to get an NFL franchise.

5) Impose a tax on football tickets.

6) Establish a bikini tax.

7) Elect Nick Saban as Governor next go-round.

Can you think of any others? Alabama is seriously in deep trouble.  But if we get a bad hurricane in 2015, we're in deep shit.

http://www.al.com/news/index.ssf/2014/12/what_big_issues_will_alabama_l.html#incart_river

Tuesday, December 30, 2014

Saturday, December 13, 2014

Brother Bob, the Porn King

I suppose you might have heard about the arch segregationist who dropped off the radar and reincarnated himself as a writer, even writing a best seller.  Yup, this was a former Alabamian.

Another one, less known, was a fire and brimstone Church of Christ preacher, who got tired of it all. and disappeared.

Now where did Brother Bob Wilde go?  His former flock wondered and wondered.  Finally, a church member with more money than sense hired a detective to look for Brother Bob, fearing that he met with foul play.

In a sense he had.  He traipsed off to wildest Tennessee where he ran a chicken ranch breeding fighting cocks and another kind: having a trio of daring doxies in a double wide trailer to console the hillbillies up there.

Also, this led him to a literary sideline: he wrote hillbilly noir porn to satisfy the totally sick tastes of Yankees who were totally credulous when it came to any notorious story about rural Southerners.  For a long time, only Erskine Caldwell and Frank Yerby filled that gap.  Brother Bob really knew his stuff.