Monday, March 5, 2012

And God Created Alabama

In the Beginning

God was missing for six days.  Eventually, Michael the archangel found him, resting on the seventh day.  He inquired of God. "Where have you been?" 

God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look, Michael.  Look what I've made."

Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?"

"It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put Life on it.  I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance."  "Balance?" Inquired Michael, still confused.

God explained, pointing to different parts of earth. "For example, northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth while southern Europe is going to be poor.  Over there I've placed a continent with a lot of water and over there is a continent that's arid," God continued pointing to different countries.  "This one will be extremely hot and while this one will be very cold and covered in ice."

The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to a smallish land mass and said "What's that one?"

"Ah," said God.  "That's Alabama, the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful beaches, deserts, streams, hills, and forests.  The people from Alabama are going to be handsome, modest, intelligent, and humorous and they are going to be found traveling the world.  They will be extremely sociable, hardworking and high achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats and carriers of peace and football."

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed, "What about balance, God?  You said there would be balance!!!"

God replied wisely, "Wait until you see the idiots I put in Montgomery."


  1. You were really stretching my memory of state capitals here but I guessed right.

  2. Incredible!!! I laughed so much I peed.

  3. Alabama is a nice place. But THAT nice?

  4. That fits most provinces. Or states, for that matter.

  5. Are those Alabama chickies guarding the coast from pirates?