Religion and Shit

Taoism: Shit happens.



Confucianism: Confucius say, "Shit happens."


Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn't really shit.



Zen Buddhism:  What is the sound of shit happening?


Hinduism: This shit has happened before.


Islam: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.


Catholicism: If shit happens, you deserve it.


Protestantism: Let shit happen to someone else.


Presbyterian: This shit was bound to happen.


Episcopalian: It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve the right wine with it.


Methodist: It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve grape juice with it.


Congregationalist: Shit that happens to one person is just as good as shit that happens to another.


Unitarian: Shit that happens to one person is just as bad as shit that happens to another.


Lutheran: If shit happens, don't talk about it.


Fundamentalism: If shit happens, you will go to hell, unless you are born again. (Amen!)


Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to us?


Calvinism: Shit happens because you don't work.


Creationism: God made all shit.


Secular Humanism: Shit evolves.


Christian Science: When shit happens, don't call a doctor - pray!


Unitarianism: Come let us reason together about this shit.


Quakers: Let us not fight over this shit.


Utopianism: This shit does not stink.


Capitalism: That's MY shit.


Communism: It's everybody's shit.


Feminism: Men are shit.


Commercialism: Let's package this shit.


Impressionism: From a distance, shit looks like a garden.


Idolism: Let's bronze this shit.


Existentialism: Shit doesn't happen; shit IS.


Stoicism: This shit is good for me.


Hedonism: There is nothing like a good shit happening!


Wiccan: An long as it harms none, let shit happen.


Scientology: If shit happens, see "Dianetics", p.157.


Jehovah's Witnesse: Shit has been prophesied and is imminent; only the righteous shall survive its happening.


Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this shit!


Agnostic: Shit might have happened; then again, maybe not.


Atheism: I can't believe this shit!


Nihilism: No shit.


Narcissism: I am the shit!